Season 39 Power Rankings - Playoff Push Edition

Montreal Stars

Current: 1  Last: 1

5 game lead for the number 1 seed, miles ahead for at least a bye.

  

Los Angeles Colemans

Current: 2  Last: 3

Division is safe, but in a fierce battle for one of the byes.  Five teams separated by no more than 2 games.

Charlotte Charlatans

Current: 3  Last: 2


Could still catch Montreal for the 1 seed, but could prove difficult with no more head to head matchups.  Has a 5 game lead for the 2 seed and a bye.

Colorado Surf Riders III

Current: 4  Last: 15

Battling Anaheim and Vegas for the division, with a series against each left.  Wildcard is a fall back with a six-game lead.

Cincinnati Dawgs

Current: 5  Last: 14

In a crazy battle for the NL North with Fargo and Detroit.  Two teams will make the playoffs, possibly all three.  Cincy holds the edge in head to head  tiebreakers over the other two.

Fargo Marlboro Men

Current: 6  Last: 13

The division winner could also qualify for a bye, so the remaining series's against division opponents is huge.  Currently has head-to-head edge over Detroit, but not Cincy.

Detroit Chippewas

 Current: 7  Last: 4

Has not fared well against division opponents, so will most likely have to win the division outright.  Clinched the head-to-head tiebreaker over Tampa if it comes down to a wild card tie.

Iowa City Johnsons

  Current: 8  Last: 6

Has a six-game lead for the division, and is in a tight battle for a bye seeding.

Santa Fe Brooks

Current: 9  Last: 12

Six game lead in the division, six games behind for a bye.

Tampa Bay Don Cesars

Current: 10  Last: 7

Six games back for the division with another series against Iowa.  Four games back for a wild-card.

Anaheim Arte Morenos

Current: 11  Last: 5


Big series coming up against Colorado, but they trail the head to head match up (2-5).  If division hopes fail, they do have a 5 game lead for a wildcard spot.

 

Wichita Rocks

 Current: 12  Last: 9

Six games behind Sante Fe with a series still on the schedule.  Big series coming up against Vegas in the battle for a wildcard.  Currently trail the season series against them at 3-4.

Washington D.C. Senators

Current: 13  Last: 21

If they can hold their four-game lead over Philly, they would lock into the four seed.  Final series of the season against their division rival.  

Las Vegas  Bookies

Current: 14  Last: 18

Have to pass both Colorado and Anaheim for the division.  In a battle with Wichita for a wildcard, with a handful of teams breathing down their necks.  Have a 4-3 lead in the season series against the Rocks.

Texas Wildcats

Current: 15  Last: 16

Honolulu Jackwagons

 Current: 16  Last: 8

Still in the hunt for a wildcard at six games back with series's remaining against Anaheim and Vegas.

Tacoma Tornadoes

Current: 17  Last: 10

Boston Braves

Current: 18  Last: 25

Some strong play as of late has thrust them into the playoff mix.  Currently 2 games back for a wild-card.  They have some tough opponents left on the schedule, including a series against Wichita.

New York Blues

Current: 19  Last: 22

Five games back for a playoff spot, with series's against Wichita, Anaheim and Vegas still on the schedule.

Jacksonville Minutemen

Current: 20  Last: 11

Three games back of a wildcard spot, with series's left against Wichita and Anaheim.

Syracuse Barking Spiders

Current: 21  Last: 23

Recent tough stretch has knocked them 7 games out of a wild-card spot with lots of teams to jump over.

Scranton Rail Riders

Current: 22  Last: 20

Six games back for a playoff spot, but would have to leapfrog several teams.

Philadelphia Phoenix

Current: 23  Last: 24

Trying to make up four games to catch DC for the division.  Would probably have to win the division outright as they've dropped 5 out of 7 so far to their rival.

Durham Bulls

Current: 24  Last: 17

Seven games back for a playoff spot, but lots of teams in front.

Milwaukee and Peele

Current: 25  Last: 27

Richmond Confederates

Current: 26  Last: 19

Ottowa Dead Bunnies

Current: 27   Last: 29

San Francisco Lockdown

Current: 28  Last: 26

Trenton Thunder

Current: 29  Last: 28

Pittsburgh Parrott Heads

Current: 30  Last: 30

San Jose Sea Slugs

Current: 31  Last: 32

New York Bombers

Current: 32  Last: 31

Season 39 Midseason Power Rankings

Montreal Stars

Current: 1  Last: 2

Not in consideration for an All-Star spot?  I thought Kate Upton's 46-year-old cousin was the only one allowed to f#!k Julius Ramirez!

Charlotte Charlatans

Current: 2  Last: 3

Making their charge for the top spot, led by "King Kong" Conner Carbonell.  By the way, if the inhabitants of Skull Island built a gigantic wall to keep Kong out of their village, why the heck did they put in a door big enough for him to get through?  It doesn't make sense.

  

Los Angeles Colemans

Current: 3  Last: 9

The NL All-Star team to officially be named the Colewas.

Detroit Chippewas

 Current: 4  Last: 6

...or maybe the Chippmans.

Anaheim Arte Morenos

Current: 5  Last: 12

Old man Ossie Davis putting snot on the ball.  He's just gotta be.

Iowa City Johnsons

  Current: 6  Last: 1

Daryl Hartman looking to those Iowa cornfields for someone to ease his pain.

Tampa Bay Don Cesars

Current: 7  Last: 11

Not in consideration for an All-Star spot?  I thought Kate Upton's G5 pilot was the only one allowed to f#!k Clayton O'Keefe!

Honolulu Jackwagons

 Current: 8  Last: 5

Old man Louie Li putting snot on the ball. He's just gotta be.

 

Wichita Rocks

 Current: 9  Last: 20

Alexi Arenado hittin' 'em with the Hein!

Tacoma Tornadoes

Current: 10  Last: 10

Out of pure desperation, team wrapping their bats in barbed wire and calling them Lucille, (except for Benny Molina, of course.)

Jacksonville Minutemen

Current: 11  Last: 15

Not in consideration for an All-Star spot?  I thought Kate Upton's agent was the only one allowed to f#!k Mike Christians!

Santa Fe Brooks

Current: 12  Last: 8

Vicente Vasquez before each at bat; "This is my bat. There are many like it but this one is mine. My bat is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my bat is useless. Without my bat I am useless. I must swing my bat true. I must hit harder than my enemy, who is trying to beat me. I must outhit him before he outhits me. I will. Before God, I swear this creed: my bat and myself are defenders of my team, we are the masters of my enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen."

Fargo Marlboro Men

Current: 13  Last: 4


Hayes O'Brien hittin' 'em with the Hein!

Cincinnati Dawgs

Current: 14  Last: 7

Not in consideration for an All-Star spot?  I thought Kate Upton's maid was the only one allowed to f#!k Stefen Redondo!

Colorado Surf Riders III

Current: 15  Last: 14

Andy Lincoln hittin' 'em with the Hein!

Texas Wildcats

Current: 16  Last: 16

Ender Crespo hittin' 'em with the Hein!

Durham Bulls

Current: 17  Last: 26

James Nelson hittin' 'em with the Hein!

Las Vegas  Bookies

Current: 18  Last: 19

Not in consideration for an All-Star spot?  I thought Kate Upton's nanny was the only one allowed to f#!k Lance Elder!

Richmond Confederates

Current: 19  Last: 25

Troy Perez hittin' 'em with the Hein!

Scranton Rail Riders

Current: 20  Last: 17

Not in consideration for an All-Star spot?  I thought Kate Upton's personal chef was the only one allowed to f#!k Max Thompson!

Washington D.C. Senators

Current: 21  Last: 13

Old man Birdie Henley putting snot on the ball.  He's just gotta be.

New York Blues

Current: 22  Last: 22

Bats, they are sick. We cannot hit curveball. Straightball we hit it very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. We offer him cigar, rum. He will come. (Erubiel Ramirez offered up some Cubans and a 33-year Glenlivet, apparently.)

Syracuse Barking Spiders

Current: 23  Last: 21

Not in consideration for an All-Star spot?  I thought Kate Upton's personal bathroom attendant (aka The Arse Wiper) was the only one allowed to f#!k Lon Giles!

Philadelphia Phoenix

Current: 24  Last: 18

Old man Edgardo Cruz putting snot on the ball.  He's just gotta be.

Boston Braves

Current: 25  Last: 24

Terrell Whitaker hittin' 'em with the Hein!

San Francisco Lockdown

Current: 26  Last: 28

In the words of the immortal Morris Buttermaker: "You guys swing like Helen Keller at a Piñata party."  (Excepting Ismael Escobar, of course.)

Milwaukee and Peele

Current: 27  Last: 31

Not in consideration for an All-Star spot?  I thought Kate Upton's 240-pound doppelganger was the only one allowed to f#!k Hugh Anderson!

Trenton Thunder

Current: 28  Last: 30

Fans are complaining that they'd rather watch cotton candy being made, or even watch a Medieval Festival than watch this group (excepting  Kendry Mesa, of course.)

Ottowa Dead Bunnies

Current: 29   Last: 23

Jerry Winchester  hittin' 'em with the Heeeeeeiiiiiiiin!

Pittsburgh Parrott Heads

Current: 30  Last: 27

I'm a big fan of the Jason Vorhees movies (even the one in space.)  Except the one in which he's supposed to take Manhattan.  90 percent of the damn movie takes place on a damn boat.

New York Bombers

Current: 31  Last: 29

In the spirit of coffee's for closers only, Sidney Little has been banned from partaking in any and all caffeinated beverages in the clubhouse.

San Jose Sea Slugs

Current: 32  Last: 32

No crying in baseball?  Oh yes.  There is.  Lots and lots of crying. (Except over Yadier Padilla, of course.)